Snowy looming mount
donning new robe white and gold
gaping toothless mouth (or shaking new shaved head)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~In this picture this traveler sees a giant head or a giant mouth, both of which are depicted by a mountain at fairly close range. So the third line of the haiku (which is always the climax line of expression) can be a choice between describing the giant’s head or his mouth. The reader? Obviously this is a fun haiku for younger readers to train their imagination and creativity and perhaps inculcate a love of poetry. Note the deliberate contrast between the three lines.
First and second lines are from the perspective of the traveler:
First line: at dawn the traveler (passenger) wakes to see a rather fearful sight of a large dark thing looming ahead of the car.
Second line: Then he remarks to himself, “O, it’s quite a majestic looking sight of a snowy mountain in his splendor.”
Third line: A comical (humorous) twist. Looking now from the perspective of the mountain: that he is either surprised at this early car approaching him without notice and shakes his head in a benign manner; alternatively he is so surprised and a bit annoyed at being woken at such unearthly hour by the strange sight and rude sound of this traveler’s car that he stares with his mouth wide opened. (Is he going to eat up the car? No one knows yet. To be continued…)
sound mind journal 