Solo or in pair
klee-ew huoh-houh-huoh long mew
transmissions received ~~~~~~~~~~~~While onshore before he set sail he heard a phone ringing, but when he picked it up he could hear people talking not particularly to him. Then the call was terminated. He wrote this letter and set sail alone. “Dearest love: You sent a WhatsApp text to say that you will go away to another continent for sometime. I replied,”Okay.” I added, “Please let me know you have arrived safely.” You replied, “Noted.” I also wrote, “I will pray for your safety.” You replied, “Thank you.” You said you will leave at 3am this morning so I set the alarm to wake me at 2:30am. I woke before that and WhatsApp called and messaged you. But there was no answer. I noted that the last time you read my text was 1:58am. Why did you not reply my internet call or text? After trying several times I realized that I did not take into account our different time zones! I also did not realize the difficulty of not having internet access while traveling across continents. Eight hours later you managed to text me in the airport just before you departed on a connecting flight. “Arrived safely at _____,” followed by the time of the flight and estimated arrival at the destination. Based on the scanty information of departure time and the two airports, I managed to track your flight so I knew you have finally landed safely.
While waiting for your next call or WhatsApp text I decided to write a very short email. “Dearest: One of the three phones rang but i heard noisy talking. Anyway i believe you are safe and well. Love, ______.” In case you happen to have access to email somehow. I exercised and showered with the phones but they remained silent. Strange that when you are easily accessible by internet call or WhatsApp or gmail I sometimes spend a whole day without contacting you. I do not count the time until I realize that I may not be able to connect to you. Then I sort of worry. For hours I do nothing but trying to guess where you are.
I recall the time before internet when we wrote long letters because telephone calls were too expensive across ocean and continents. I wrote a letter a day and you said you often received a bundle as the postman did not call daily. Later I was posted to a distant city and saved my lunch allowance for our daily evening long distance call. When I returned you were posted to a rural place separated from the city by long and winding treacherous hilly country roads and I woke at four every Saturday morning and drove slowly at snail-speed for hours in pitch dark often braving the heavy monsoon rain which reduced visibility to zero. I did the same on every Monday morning on the return journey. Finally you succeeded getting a posting near your hometown in another city across the sea. I too got a posting across but in another city. In those days driving between the two cities took about ten hours return. So I wrote letters everyday. I spent a fortune on phone calls too. I flew sometimes. One New Year Day I received your call. You said, “Listen, you need to make a decision. Either we break up or we marry.” I replied, “Are you proposing to me?” You said, “Yes. Give me your answer and a confirmed wedding date within two days.”
Looking back I can see that the main reason why we decided to get together for good was so that we could communicate without having to battle mountains of hindrances to our highly compatible transmission and receiving frequencies and wave-lengths. The difficulty to connect our thoughts hastened the decision process. Human being must connect. In those days there was no social media like Facebook or Twitter. Not even smart phone. Mobile analogue phones were expensive, yet large, heavy and clumsy, newly introduced in the market, more for sales persons than anyone else. No smart phone. We really needed to communicate so badly. But not with just anyone. Many years have passed since then and we now rely on short utterances called chat typed and received on a tiny screen of a phone named smart. I cannot write letters anymore. Not the ones I used to take heart to write. Having said all that I want to say in short forms daily several times on screen, I seem to have run out of energy and imagination. Browsing through the internet I found this following passage which aptly describes what you are and will always be to me. The writer has said it so well that any addition on my part will be superfluous.
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” (quoted from Bob Marley)
I am still waiting for your call. You are the someone who has completely turned my world around. I am sailing solo here, in search of perhaps a beautiful picture for you. Love, yours always.
sound mind journal 