I admit heaven must be beautiful
As you have gone so far
without a glance behind
Surely with a companion
and not alone
Since heaven is so beautiful
Love look not back
‘lest you cry
when seeing derelict me
still seeking for the stars we were
dreaming how we would shine side by side
But then heaven and earth torn asunder…
我承认天堂一定很美丽
既然你已经走了这么远
不回头
肯定是有伴的
不会孤单
因为天堂是如此美丽
爱 请别回顾
不然你会哭泣
当看到被遗弃的我时
仍在寻找你我曾经的星星
梦想着我们并肩闪耀
但随后天地已裂。。。
Dear Love: Where can I find you? I know you have not really left me, and yet I cannot see or hear you.
Jan 20-26th day after you left for heaven. I know you are in a far better and happier place, beautiful beyond any human imagination. And you are at your utmost beautiful self too, no suffering, no sickness, no tear. And yet I cannot let go of this grief. I watch and listen to the thousands of recordings you have left behind in the last three and half years, and cannot accept that you are no longer here or anywhere I can access in person on earth.
I have held your hand countless times and promised you that I would be with you always. I would not leave you. Where you go I shall go too. You responded by holding fast to my hand and our hands grasped each other so tightly that they could not be separated, not even with the thinnest matter.
And so I am here asking where may I find you. Is there a way I can find you? Is there a sign I should know? Is there a road, any road no matter how far and how long I must journey on to join you?
2024-01-20 letter 1 (a therapy for my heart)
(Note: I wrote this little poem parts of which are inspired by a song)
sound mind journal 